Warning: This article contains spoilers for Season 4 of the Hulu series, “The Bear.”
It’s no mystery that divorcing can be stressful and complicated (especially without a prenup). Not only is the process of divorce arduous, but there are also the lesser-discussed after-effects, which can impact your life for years to come—especially when kids are involved.
However, there are ways to lessen the impact and even emerge a little more enlightened on the other side.
How?
Cooperation and humility.
Let’s explore how this played out in the recent season of “The Bear.”
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Get your free guideRichie’s Co-Parenting Epiphany
In watching Season 4 of “The Bear,” I was reminded just how tumultuous the post-divorce era can be. Richie and his ex, Tiff, have been divorced for several years, a side plot that pops up throughout the series.
In the Berzatto family (Richie’s kin), once you’re in the family, you’re in for life, regardless of divorce. So Tiff continues to be a beloved member of the family. Not to mention, she and Richie share a young daughter, further strengthening their ties.
When Tiff announces she’s getting remarried, Richie is understandably distraught. There are the complicated emotions that come with watching an ex fully move on, yes. But Richie is also anxious about the dynamic between him, his daughter, and her new stepfather.
We watch as Richie grapples with this anxiety, fearing that this new figure in his daughter’s life will permanently alter their father-daughter bond.
Despite much handwringing, Richie (and the entire Berzatto crew) attends the wedding, which turns out to be one of his most impactful decisions.
Here, Richie gets his first opportunity to co-parent with Tiff’s new husband, Frank. Frank and Eva, Richie’s daughter, are meant to have a father/daughter dance, but Eva feels nervous about it and hides out underneath the dessert table.
It turns out Frank is just as anxious as Richie, which he reveals when he discovers he can’t get Eva out from under the table and appeals to Richie to help him.
We learn that the entire time Richie has been riddled with anxiety over Eva and Frank, Frank has been riddled with anxiety over his new place in the family.
In this moment, Richie takes on the role of comforter, assuring Frank that Eva will come around while also quietly taking solace that, despite it all, he will always be Eva’s father.
This scene exemplifies how emotional co-parenting can be, and that often the best course of action is to suck up your pride and see each other human-to-human.
In the end, Frank and Richie have a breakthrough in their relationship. Richie discovers that Frank is very much in the deep end in his new role as step-father, and Richie can provide some guidance that improves both their dynamic and Frank and Eva’s.
It’s a fictional tale, but it has deep roots in reality for divorcing parents. Separating with kids is difficult. But it is in your power to ease the transition.
Here’s how:
1. Accept your new reality.
The sooner you accept that you’ll be in each other’s lives forever, the sooner you can build a happier environment for yourselves and your children.
Denial is a tempting defense mechanism, especially when it feels like your family structure is unraveling. But resisting change only makes the transition harder for everyone, especially your kids.
Richie doesn’t pretend Tiff isn’t remarrying. He shows up, sits with discomfort, and finds his footing in the new landscape. Acceptance doesn’t mean letting go of your role as a parent; it means stepping into a new version of it, with maturity and resilience.
2. Put aside your differences.
Co-parenting doesn’t require friendship, but it does require civility. Kids thrive when they see the adults in their lives working together, even when it’s hard.
Richie and Frank have every reason to keep each other at arm’s length, but they don’t. Instead, Richie chooses cooperation over competition. The moment he helps Frank is the moment the whole dynamic softens, with Eva benefiting most of all.
3. Offer support to the new members of the family unit.
This might be the hardest one. It takes humility to support the person “replacing” you in certain moments. But new stepparents often feel just as overwhelmed as biological parents, and a little grace goes a long way.
Richie doesn’t just tolerate Frank—he reassures him. In doing so, he models the kind of empathy and emotional intelligence that any child would be lucky to witness and internalize.
Final Thoughts
Co-parenting is rarely simple, and real life rarely wraps up as neatly as a scripted scene. But “The Bear” reminds us that even in the messiest emotional moments, we can choose compassion, clarity, and connection.
When parents—old and new—come together with mutual respect, everyone wins. Especially the kids.
Navigating the complexities of divorce or separation and looking for support? Book a consultation call with me today.