Warning: This article contains spoilers for Season 3 of HBO’s “The White Lotus.”
The White Lotus is rife with examples of the lengths people will go to for money, security, and sexual satisfaction.
In Season 3, we watched a series of complicated scenarios unfold. There was Chelsea in her (ultimately tragic) pursuit to “fix” Rick, Belinda and her moral dilemma of whether to accept a windfall of hush money, a girls’ trip gone sideways, and, of course, the Ratliff family on the precipice of a financial crisis.
Timothy Ratliff’s financial downfall may be overdramatized for Hollywood, but it’s closer to reality than you might think.
It doesn’t take dabbling in money laundering to experience financial infidelity. The guilt, shame, and lies associated with money choices are incredibly common, no matter your societal status.
That’s because money is inextricably linked to identity. It’s normal (though untrue) to feel that if we’ve failed with our finances, we’ve failed as a person.
And no one felt this more acutely than Timothy Ratliff.
The Ratliff’s Financial Drama, Summarized
We can infer that Mr. Ratliff, presumably a high-powered businessman, was involved in some form of money laundering. This plot slowly unravels through the season, and with it, his sanity.
Rather than spoil his family’s 5-star resort vacation in Thailand, Timothy chooses to bury the issue. Even as he receives a barrage of phone calls from reporters, colleagues, and the FBI, he decides to absorb the impact alone rather than come clean to his wife and children.
Before you decide this is a noble thing to do, why ruin a vacation when all will soon be revealed? Know that Timothy’s initial instinct is to kill his family (and himself) before admitting his wrongdoing and relegating them to a life of poverty.
In the end, the Ratliff family lives, and Timothy is left to face the music as their vacation concludes. But not before he experiences a rollercoaster of poor decision-making, all spurred by three major myths of financial infidelity.
Let’s dive in.
Myth 1: If I Ignore It, It’ll Resolve Itself
Have you ever avoided checking your bank account after a big weekend?
Same. Money fear is real, but you can’t fix your finances by ignoring them altogether.
For Timothy, denial was the main course of action. Once he willingly gave up his phone to the receptionist (The White Lotus is a no-phones resort), he could easily pretend his crimes and imminent arrest did not exist.
This doesn’t go well for Timothy and won’t go well for people like us, either.
Healthy finances start with careful planning. That may mean a daunting review of all your debts and financial obligations. Or in Timothy’s case, a hard look in the mirror and an admission of his choices.
It’s not easy, but once you get past that part, you’re on the path to healing. This is especially critical in marriage, where your finances are intertwined with your spouse’s (unless you have a prenup designating otherwise).
In this way, denial can harm everyone. It’s not just your finances at stake, but the well-being of your spouse and family.
The solution? Be proactive, even if it means having tough conversations.
Myth 2: My Spouse/Partner/Family Is Better Off Not Knowing
Think you’re doing your partner a favor by not clueing them into your financial woes? Think again.
Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to finances. Lying to your spouse about money is a major breach of trust and can put them in a catastrophic financial position.
Not to mention the mental impacts of constantly lying to your significant other. Take Timothy, for example. He was so convinced his family couldn’t handle a life short of luxury that he was ready to fatally poison them.
Building a solid relationship starts with transparency. And while you don’t need to disclose every painstaking detail of your life to your spouse, you should never skimp on open and honest assessments of your financial positioning.
Myth 3: I Can Figure This Out Myself
As the primary breadwinner, Timothy felt the crushing pressure to resolve his crimes himself.
But his approach was less than advisable (again, fatal poisoning…) and exemplified why big financial resolutions should NOT happen in a silo, especially when you’re married.
A long-term partnership is just that—a partnership, where you can safely exchange thoughts and ideas and support each other through the good and bad, including money issues.
Financial repair should never be a solo endeavor, especially when paired with denial or lying to your spouse.
Takeaway: Keep It Honest
Financial infidelity is a serious issue, but you can bounce back from it with careful and loving communication.
There are lots of reasons to lie about money, many of them understandable, but don’t let these overshadow what’s most important: the love and respect you have for your partner.
As for Timothy? It may have taken nearly killing his kin to see the light, but he ultimately decided that honesty was better than losing what mattered most to him, far beyond money — his family.