Buying a home is one of the most significant financial commitments you’ll ever make. And unlike a dinner bill or a vacation, it’s not something you can easily split if things go south.
Let’s break down the pros and cons of buying a home together before marriage, and the talks you need to have as a couple before touring open houses.
BEFORE getting married, what conversations about MONEY should you have with your partner?
Use this guide to discuss budgets, assets, debts, goals, joints bank accounts and more.
Get the guidePros & Cons of Buying a Home Pre-Marriage
The Pros
1. Building equity together early.
Instead of paying rent to a landlord, you’re building wealth in an asset you both own. That can be a powerful financial advantage, especially in a hot housing market where prices are rising quickly.
2. Stability and a shared investment.
Owning a home can create a sense of stability and permanence in your relationship. More than being roommates, you’re putting down roots and working toward a shared goal, further strengthening your bond.
3. Fast-tracking big life convos.
Diving into home ownership necessitates some big discussions, like your financial positioning and the trajectory of your future together. The sooner you have these talks, the more certainty you’ll be on the same page, making your transition into marriage that much easier.
4. Saving money.
While mortgage rates have been steadily declining in 2025, it’s not exactly cheap to buy a house, especially if you live in a hot real estate market. Going in on a mortgage together allows you to get your foot into real estate without taking a major financial blow, and it may be more affordable than renting on your own.
The Cons
1. Legal and financial complexity if you break up.
If you split, dividing a home is not as simple as moving your belongings out. You’ll have to agree on whether to sell, buy each other out, or (worst case) fight it out in court. Without a prenup or cohabitation agreement prior to marriage, this process can get messy and expensive.
2. Emotional & financial stress.
The process of buying a home can be stressful, plus down payments can easily creep up into the tens of thousands of dollars (not to mention the cost of potential repairs and upkeep). You’ll want to ensure you’re both ready to take on the short-term and long-term financial burden of home ownership, and to plan on how the expenses will be paid and by whom.
3. Life changes.
Your priorities today may not be the same as they will be five years from now. If taking a new job or moving to a different city is on your bucket list, be sure to have those conversations before locking in on a home together.
Key Discussions Before Closing On A Home
The healthiest relationships (and the smoothest co-ownership arrangements) start with intentional, sometimes uncomfortable, conversations.
I recommend these discussions before committing to owning a home together:
1. Financial Planning
Lay out your complete financial picture for each other:
- How much you each earn
- Your credit scores
- Any debts you’re bringing into the relationship
- How much you’re each contributing to the down payment, monthly mortgage, property taxes, insurance, and maintenance. More importantly, discuss whether either of you expects to be reimbursed any costs of acquisition at the time of sale or if one of you buys the other out of their interest.
Also, discuss what happens if one of you loses a job or can’t contribute financially for a while. It’s easier to make these decisions when you’re on sound footing than in the middle of a crisis.
2. Future Planning
Where do you see yourselves in 5, 10, or 15 years?
- Will one of you want to relocate for a job?
- Do you plan on having kids, and will that change your housing needs?
- Are you both in this house for the long haul, or is it a short-term investment?
These future goals affect the type of property you buy and how you structure your ownership and exit plan.
3. Establishing a Cohabitation Agreement
Decide if you want to enter a more formal legal agreement to protect your assets, like a cohabitation agreement.
A cohabitation agreement is essentially a prenup for unmarried couples. For big purchases like a home, it can outline:
- How much each person is contributing, and reserving reimbursement rights
- Ownership and division of personal property, like furniture or electronics
- What happens if one person wants to sell and the other doesn’t
- How you’ll handle buyouts and appraisals if you split
Check out my Talking Money Guide for guidance on critical pre-marital discussions. Whether or not you decide to tie the knot, these discussions are just as crucial for sharing a mortgage.
How a Prenup Helps
If you plan to marry, you can address your house in your prenup.
A prenup can designate exactly how the property will be handled if the marriage ends:
- Will it be sold and split evenly?
- Will one of you keep it and buy the other out? Will one of you have a first right of refusal to buy the other out?
- How will the property be appraised at the time of buy-out?
- Will your ownership percentages be based on your contributions?
The beauty of a prenup is that it locks in these agreements while you’re still on good terms. It eliminates guesswork and conflict later.
Final Thoughts
Whether you decide to buy now or wait until after marriage, taking the time to talk openly about money, your long-term goals, and your expectations will set you up for success.
Putting your plans in writing isn’t just about protecting assets—it’s about protecting your partnership and giving you both peace of mind.
If you’d like guidance on addressing your home purchase in a prenup or cohabitation agreement, I’d be happy to help. Book a consultation call today, and let’s make sure your financial future is as strong as your relationship.