Choosing the right attorney for your prenup can make the difference between an uplifting, positive process and a tense, transactional one.
A prenup is more than a legal document. It’s a conversation that sets you up for long-term marital success. And the attorney you hire shapes how that conversation unfolds.
Before you sign anything, here are three questions you should ask your attorney (and why the answers really matter).
BEFORE getting married, what conversations about MONEY should you have with your partner?
Use this guide to discuss budgets, assets, debts, goals, joints bank accounts and more.
Get the guide1. “How often do you handle prenups?”
Not every lawyer who can draft a prenup should be the one drafting yours.
Ask about how often the attorney handles prenuptial agreements and whether it’s a significant part of their practice. Make sure prenups aren’t just a side hustle!
For example, litigation attorneys are often consumed by court trials, so they may be unavailable for days and unable to respond promptly.
If prenups are only a tiny slice of an attorney’s workload, you’re more likely to get:
- A generic template (where they fill in the blanks)
- A rushed or transactional experience
- A process that doesn’t reflect the nuance of your actual relationship
You need an attorney who specializes in prenuptial agreements.
Prenup-focused attorneys have the reps to get the agreements done correctly. More importantly, they’ll write the agreement to honor your financial needs and marital goals.
A prenup is not a form. It’s a structured, meaningful foundation for expectations, values, and long-term plans. You need an attorney who treats it that way: someone who’s focused, thoughtful, and familiar with the emotional and relational aspects of the process.
The more experience an attorney has with prenups, the more intentionally they’ll navigate these agreements to empower you and your partner.
2. “Can I talk to my partner about the prenup during negotiations?”
Believe it or not, some attorneys will advise you not to discuss your relationship with your partner while the prenup is being drafted.
That is a massive red flag.
The conversations you have with your partner are arguably the most valuable part of the prenup process. That’s how clarity, trust, and alignment are built.
If an attorney instructs you to keep things private, it tells you that the attorney:
- Approaches prenups as business deals, not marriage tools
- Prioritize leverage or pressure over sustainable relationship health
- May create unnecessary tension or secrecy between you and your partner
Treating a prenup like a business negotiation may be the right solution for some.
But if you’re approaching marriage with collaboration, mediation, and mutual respect in mind, your attorney should support that. Not undermine it.
3. “Have you ever refused to sign a prenup or stopped a client from signing one?”
This question reveals an attorney’s judgment, ethics, and philosophy.
A responsible attorney balances two things at once:
- Advocating for your goals, and
- Recognizing that marriage is nuanced, and sometimes what’s legally “perfect” isn’t what’s right
There are real liability considerations for attorneys when signing off on prenups, so their decision-making in tough situations matters.
If an attorney has never stopped a client from signing something, it may mean they resort to “sure, if you want it, let’s sign.”
Others refuse to sign off on a prenup because of certain custom provisions and simply leave the agreement unsigned, forcing you to find a new attorney at the last minute. This is equally concerning.
The ideal attorney understands that each couple has unique priorities and writes the prenuptial agreement to serve you.
You deserve someone who protects your interests and supports the long-term health of your marriage, not someone who is too rigid or too lenient in their standards. This is a nuanced but important distinction.
Bottom line: Your attorney should do what’s right for you and your marriage, not their ego.
Next Steps
Asking the right questions upfront helps you choose an attorney who understands the true purpose of prenups: to empower you and your soon-to-be spouse with a financial and marital plan for success.
Look for someone who has extensive experience with prenuptial agreements, encourages open communication with your partner, and balances legal expertise with emotional intelligence and humility.
If you need help reviewing or creating a prenup that supports the marriage you’re building, let’s talk.